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Pleasure by Proxy

by Craig Lambert

 

Photograph by Marilynn Oliphant/Random House

Daniel Gilbert

Extra
Hear an excerpt from Daniel Gilbert’s conversation with article author Craig Lambert (who does not much resemble Yao Ming).

Keywords

psychology

Your parents recommend taking a Caribbean cruise and tell you about a discount deal. You’ve never taken a cruise and aren’t so sure you’d enjoy it, so you dig up some information on the Web and even watch a couple of videos. You recollect the times you’ve been on ships, and your past visits to Caribbean islands—rum drinks, aqua waters.  But will you really enjoy an eight-day cruise? Turns out there is a better way to answer this question: ask anyone who has just gotten off a cruise boat—a total stranger is fine. That way, you’ll be 30 to 60 percent more likely to accurately predict your own experience than by basing your decision on painstaking research and inner speculations.

That’s the upshot of new work by professor of psychology Daniel Gilbert, author of the best-selling 2007 psychology book Stumbling on Happiness and host of the recent PBS television series This Emotional Life. In a recent issue of Science, Gilbert and his coauthorspsychology graduate student Matthew Killingsworth, Rebecca Eyre, Ph.D. ’05, and Timothy Wilson, Aston professor of psychology at the University of Virginiareported findings on “surrogation”: consulting the experience of another person, a surrogate, in deciding whether something will make you happy. They discovered that the direct experience of another person trumps the conjecturing of our own minds.

The surrogate’s verdict is a useful guide because we are far more similar to each other than we realize. “If you look at other human beings, we seem amazingly varied,” Gilbert explains. “What we forget is that if a Martian came and looked at us, he wouldn’t be able to tell any of us apart.” The same holds for our inner reactions. “One of the ways we’re quite similar is in our hedonic or emotional reactions to events,” he continues. “Yes, it’s true that you may like strawberry ice cream more than chocolate, whereas I prefer chocolate. But that shouldn’t obscure the much bigger point: everybody likes ice cream more than they like gall-bladder surgery. Everybody prefers a weekend in Paris to being hit over the head with a two-by-four.” Economic markets exist for this very reason: to a large degree, people like the same things.

Gilbert volunteers a thought experiment: ask a random person to list all possible human experiences, ranking them from best to worst. Then ask another randomly chosen individual to do the same. Gilbert predicts, “You’d see 99 percent overlap in their arrangements.” That’s why surrogation works. (It isn’t, however, a perfect guide, only better than the alternatives. Surrogation’s a poor strategy in those rare circumstances where human emotional responses vary widely—e.g., to a question like, “What’s your favorite number?”)

In one experiment to test surrogation, the psychologists asked a sample of women to predict how much they would enjoy a “speed date” with a particular man. Some women saw his personal profile and photograph; others learned nothing about him other than how much another woman (a stranger) had enjoyed her speed date with him. The second group predicted their enjoyment far more accurately than the first. Both groups had expected the reverse, and oddly enough, despite the outcome, both groups preferred to have the profile/photograph for their next date.

This suggests that ideas trump reality. But in predicting your likings, even someone else’s direct experience trumps mental hypotheses—which is why surrogation works. But to be helpful, the surrogate’s experience must be recent. “People are very poor at remembering how happy they were,” Gilbert says. “So it’s not very useful to ask, ‘How much did you like something you experienced last year?’ People get most questions about happiness wrong. But there is one question they get right: how happy are you right now?”

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Anonymous's picture
John Thiel wrote:

When I was a student, a friend of mine who was attending Tufts invited me along with a few other friends who all happen to be Nichiren Buddhists to a student performance at his college. At the end of the performance he introduced us to some of his friends who were not Buddhist, but who did not know that we all were.

One of the Tuft students commented to our host, “I don’t know why, but all your friends look the same.” This seemed an odd comment given that we were a hodge-podge of ethnic backgrounds, mixes, and body types. But I knew why we looked the same—because we were all practicing Nichiren Buddhists and good friends besides, so we absolutely oozed this mutual, universal, innate (proxies x proxies) happiness that was the result of our practice as individuals as well as our interactions with each other.

Nichiren Buddhists are all about happiness, and reading this article makes me consider the fact that when one person develops their innate happiness if effects their acquaintences, and in turn their society, nation, and world. Each individual has an immense effect on every other, because we are all connected.

Sure, we can focus on economics or marketing, how happy you are or may be with a particular purchase or store because other people were happy with the same widget or service, but it goes far beyond that. Happiness (as well as anger, fear, hysteria, stupidity, depression) is infectious without a doubt.

March 24, 2010
Anonymous's picture
Yim Lim wrote:

Great article and very timely. We use this process in the design industry, specifically in the design of spaces for healthcare. As the industry revamps its approach “pro-active health care” we help our clients envision and make decisions in the practice and the healthcare environment through this surrogate approach. thanks again!

March 24, 2010
Anonymous's picture
Charles Glazier wrote:

Satisfaction is subject to shaping. We are intensely social creatures and tend to prefer to think & feel in ways similar to those around us. If someone - even a complete stranger - recommends something (a book, a movie, a meal, a trip), people have a bias towards evaluating their experience in ways that align with the recommendation. When you’re walking out of the movie theater and people walking in ask you how you liked the movie they are about to see, the only polite response is “loved it,” even if you didn’t - so at least you prejudice them towards enjoying themselves. One human capacity I really value is our ability to enjoy almost anything as long as it seems in line with our culture norms, values and needs. Doesn’t matter so much where you go on vacation, just that you go take a vacation!

April 21, 2010

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